lessons from my son

I shared with the college group a couple of weeks ago that Lisa and I have entered a new stage of parenting with our younger son, Matthias. Watching my sweet little guy who is so quick to laugh and play and explore, as he struggles against our direction and care for him, has forever convinced me that sin is at work in our little ones from the get go! God has been teaching our family a great deal as we enter this phase of life and parenting.

I'm shocked at the way Matthias will fight against, not only what's best, but also what's most enjoyable. He loves music. He spontaneously applauds performers who play at the Farmer's Market downtown (we didn't knowingly teach him to do this). During our last visit to the Farmer's Market I began to direct him toward a performer across the street. The performer was just beyond Matthias' sight and even the sound was a little lost due to the crowd. I knew he would love the music (he tends to dance like a Peanut's character when there's live music), so I took his hand in mine and headed through the crowd. Almost immediately our precious son began to resist. He tried to pull away from me--struggling and grunting. I'm his dad! Doesn't he know that I see things he doesn't? Doesn't he know that I know him better than he knows himself? Doesn't he know that I only want what's best for him? I was directing him to something enjoyable--with his best interests at heart--yet his reaction was to rebel against my leading.

It was one of the moments that have cropped up here and there since I've become a dad. Standing in the middle of Higuera Street, resistant son in hand, engulfed by the crowd, I felt like the Lord spoke into my heart, gently saying, "Steve, this is what sin is. This is what our relationship looks like to Me when you take matters into your own hands. I'm your Father! Don't you know that I see things you don't? Don't you know that I know you better than you know yourself? Don't you know that I only want what's best for you?"

I admit our lives are usually as clear-cut as our children's lives. God doesn't literally and physically take our hands and lead and guide us. We struggle with things like how to parent our children, or how we should use our financial resources. The Lord leads us in the resolution of conflict with family members and co-workers. Jesus points us toward priorities that are more eternally focused and therefore more ultimately satisfying than those we tend to pursue. What I am learning through my son though, is that I underestimate the Lord's leading in my life. I am often as hesitant to trust His goodness and love toward me as Matthias is with Lisa and I. My prayer is that as I instruct my son toward responsiveness toward us, so the Lord will instruct me in responsiveness toward Him.